The Sounds of Snoring

Published March 3, 2014 by Rebecca Martin

This week’s challenge from Chuck Wendig:

http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2014/02/27/writing-exercise-describe-one-things-ten-ways/

I just finished reading Ozzy Osbourne’s memoir , in which he said that one of his roommates at Betty Ford snored “like a moose with a tracheotomy.” The belly laugh I got out of that inspired me to write my descriptive list about snoring.

  1. like a hibernating bear
  2. A jackhammer in the middle of the road, noisily pounding away into the concrete.
  3. the sounds of an unidentifiable wounded animal
  4. Darth Vader with a sinus infection
  5. the sound of a blender on the ‘frappe’ setting throughout the night
  6. Powerful enough to dislodge window dressings (a sure sign I grew up watching endless amounts of cartoons.)
  7. a lion announcing his presence
  8. an auditory form of Chinese water torture for the non-snorer sleeping next to them.
  9. a prophet of doom heralding another sleepless night for their non-snoring sleepmate
  10. a chainsaw buzzing through the trunk of a giant Sequoia
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2 comments on “The Sounds of Snoring

  • I reckon I could tick every one of those boxes for my husband’s snoring – but he’s got sleep apnoea so I can’t be too cruel about it. Uses a CPAP machine for it now, so these days he sounds more like Vader WITHOUT a sinus infection. Great job with these descriptions – made me laugh. 🙂

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