All posts for the month December, 2014

“Wher yo’ man?”

Published December 2, 2014 by Rebecca Martin

Three students showed up for my English class today (note: this is not my ESL class, it’s my community college class, pre-ENG 111). One of my students looked up from her writing and said:

“Miss Martin, this is kinda off topic, but….wher yo’ man?”

Me: “….I’m sorry?”

“You so nice. You ain’t got a man?” (Wait…I’m nice?!)

“Um, (insert name of student here), being nice doesn’t mean I have to have a man.” (momentary pause). “How long have you been wondering about this?”

“Since the first week of class.”

Then I went on to enumerate all the reasons I should continue to be without a man. But I couldn’t help thinking: I’m glad my student was focused on my relationship status and not her pesky education.


Conversations with my mother: Heart Attack?

Published December 1, 2014 by Rebecca Martin

Mom: Why does it smell like spaghetti sauce in here?

Me: (long pause) Are you having a heart attack?

Mom: (confused) What?!

Me: You know how some people smell toast when they’re having a heart attack? It makes sense to me that we would smell spaghetti sauce.

Mom: (wait for it………) HAHAHAHAHA. (exits stage left to go take a shower.)